Too Low For Zero (1983)

Too Low for Zero is dubbed by many to be Elton John’s “comeback” album. Plenty online say that’s far from the case, but I feel they don’t give this record enough credit. Perhaps they weigh the weaker songs too heavily. There’s undoubtedly a slight dip in quality, and the record has varying degrees of cohesiveness, but this is a great record with a lot to love.

Cold as Christmas grows on me and gets better with every listen. I can’t point out where this song could possibly improve. Elton is vocally strong, and the backing harmonies are as good as they’ve ever been. The chord progressions scratch every itch in my brain and, again… those backing harmonies are top-tier. Forget what people say, it really is about as close to perfection as you can get. You can practically say that about the second track as well.

I’m Still Standing is the total Elton comeback anthem. After all the musical rollercoasters, he’s still the same legend he’s always been. It’s my go-to karaoke banger. The energy, the vocals, it’s Elton at his poppiest best.

Too Low for Zero is packed with electronic drums and dramatic piano playing. It’s got that softer feel with a high-paced punch. Elton and the band’s vocals are, again, just so strong. Religion feels like classic Elton with that subtle ‘80s influence. It’s got country twang flirting with it, reminding me of the Don’t Shoot Me or Captain Fantastic era. It fits right in. Such a strong, nostalgic mood.

I Guess That’s Why They Call It the Blues is an all-time great Elton track. Iconic and as strong as anything he’s ever put out. The lyrics hit hard, with classic Elton song structure, and those backing vocals? They’re on a divine level. When I saw him during his final tour, this one deeply, deeply moved me.

Crystal feels like the sonic sibling to Too Low for Zero with its electronic drums and synthesizers. The acoustic strumming in the pre-chorus really lifts this song. It’s stylistically different from the last track and perhaps a cohesive outlier, but man, I love the different energy it brings.

Kiss the Bride I always thought was a straightforward love song, but I was quite wrong. It’s about a man wanting to object at a wedding and steal the bride for himself. Still, it’s poppy, catchy, and one of my favorites from the record. Perfect for video montages too!

Whipping Boy is where it gets real. The weakest track on the record. It’s not bad, it’s just not as flashy as the rest. It has good pace and good harmonies, but it’s lacking that extra flair. It just feels like a slightly lame 80s rockabilly rock track falling flat on its own simplicity.

Saint opens with synth horns on a melodramatic ballad. Elton belts it out with some strong vocals, but it feels a bit subdued. Some redeeming qualities, but not enough to save to my library. One More Arrow is a falsetto number that walks the line between a beautiful ballad and a wimpy one. Not an instant replay, but it does crescendo into a gorgeous climax at the end that’s worth listening to.

Earn While You Learn is instrumental excellence. Funky and quick-paced, it’s Elton showing off, and I’m here for it. Lord Choc Ice was either an alternate title for the song or Elton’s alter ego while performing it. Either way, it’s ridiculously fun. Dreamboat is that classic Elton-styled gospel pop rock making its comeback. Young Elton energy for sure. It’s a bit twangy, and maybe it goes on a tad too long, but its dreamy, R&B-esque qualities are very agreeable.

The Retreat feels a tad too middle-of-the-road for Elton. It ends the album on an overall mellow note, but the finale of the song is grand and a very pleasant way to finish things off. Is Too Low for Zero a perfect five-out-of-five-stars comeback album? No, it’s not, but it’s the first record from Elton in a while with so many hits and so many great moments. The back half takes a dip in quality, but I remain of the opinion that there’s much more to love on this record than not.

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Highlight Songs:

• I’m Still Standing

• Cold as Christmas

• I Guess That’s Why They Call It the Blues

• Kiss the Bride

• Crystal

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Own it, Stream it, Forget about it?

It’s for sure worth owning. The pros of this record FAR outweigh the cons. Stream the hell out of it until you get a hard copy. It’s got a great minimalist cover and truly has some of Elton’s greatest masterpieces on it. You can’t go wrong with it.

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Overall Rating:

4 Stars